Sunday, December 19, 2010
New Year's Resolutions
Are you one of those people that makes a resolution but fails to stick to it or even follow through? That's me. 2011, however, is going to be the year that changes my life! This, I know! I am going to go back to school and pursue a degree while continuing to work both my full-time and part-time jobs. I also started my own pet sitting business about a month ago so that will hopefully take off and prosper. One of my resolutions will be to either lose weight or become comfortable in my own skin. One seems much easier than the other. How can one gain self acceptance? Does it take positive influences or the desire to want to change? Maybe both.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Giving Up
In January of this year I met a guy that I felt fond of... We dated for a few months and then via text he tells me that he's decided to try and work things out with his wife. As an adult, I can understand the urge and want to do this as they share a child together. The only harm done was that he told me this via text and that my feelings of course were hurt but I understood.
A few months later he contacts me to see how I was doing. Okay fine. But nothing progressed from there. After all, he IS married, right?
In September of this year he left a note on my car that said "Hey. I stopped by and even knocked on your door for a bit. I got a new phone and don't have your number anymore. I Miss You." I was a little thrown off by this so I waited a good month before I called, even against my friends better judgement but I'm sorry curiousity got the best of me. --- Was he still married? Why now?
About a month after that, we started hanging out again but not really romantically. He texts and calls every day. And I don't mean just once a day... He's even kissed me a few times and when I told him that I wanted things to be like they were earlier in the year, he said that he liked the way things were now. Okay, that hurt. Friends, huh? Friends it is. But wait... I don't speak to my friends every day nor do I text to them every day. My friends don't kiss me and they don't insist on paying for everything we do together. Doesn't that sound like "dating" or is that just me? Regardless, he said FRIENDS and friends it will be. I will not be the one that allows him to have his cake and eat it too. That's just not how it works.
We were supposed to go to lunch together today so that I could get some dishes back from him and deliver the cheesecake I made. Can you believe that he stood me up? WOW! Do your friends do things like that to you? I think not.
A few months later he contacts me to see how I was doing. Okay fine. But nothing progressed from there. After all, he IS married, right?
In September of this year he left a note on my car that said "Hey. I stopped by and even knocked on your door for a bit. I got a new phone and don't have your number anymore. I Miss You." I was a little thrown off by this so I waited a good month before I called, even against my friends better judgement but I'm sorry curiousity got the best of me. --- Was he still married? Why now?
About a month after that, we started hanging out again but not really romantically. He texts and calls every day. And I don't mean just once a day... He's even kissed me a few times and when I told him that I wanted things to be like they were earlier in the year, he said that he liked the way things were now. Okay, that hurt. Friends, huh? Friends it is. But wait... I don't speak to my friends every day nor do I text to them every day. My friends don't kiss me and they don't insist on paying for everything we do together. Doesn't that sound like "dating" or is that just me? Regardless, he said FRIENDS and friends it will be. I will not be the one that allows him to have his cake and eat it too. That's just not how it works.
We were supposed to go to lunch together today so that I could get some dishes back from him and deliver the cheesecake I made. Can you believe that he stood me up? WOW! Do your friends do things like that to you? I think not.
Jealousy
Have you ever wondered why people have a jealous bone? Is it because of insecurity or out of fear? I know that I possess that trait and over the years have tried to supress it but somehow it pokes it's ugly head out again. But this time, I'm not talking about me.
Over the past few weeks, a person that I've known for quite a while is really starting to show her true colors. Snide comments about things that I should or shouldn't do are starting to get old. I am trying to turn a deaf ear but believe me, it's very difficult. I just need to keep telling myself that I will not stoop to her level. I have vented to my real friends and they keep telling me to ignore her. So, here I sit - - writing about it. Why? Because it helps. From here forward, I will live in silence while in the presence of this individual. "
I found a quote online today that speaks the truth - - "Jealousy is tacky. Instead, admire another's beauty and let it inspire you because tearing them down will only show others just how ugly you really are."
Over the past few weeks, a person that I've known for quite a while is really starting to show her true colors. Snide comments about things that I should or shouldn't do are starting to get old. I am trying to turn a deaf ear but believe me, it's very difficult. I just need to keep telling myself that I will not stoop to her level. I have vented to my real friends and they keep telling me to ignore her. So, here I sit - - writing about it. Why? Because it helps. From here forward, I will live in silence while in the presence of this individual. "
I found a quote online today that speaks the truth - - "Jealousy is tacky. Instead, admire another's beauty and let it inspire you because tearing them down will only show others just how ugly you really are."
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